omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
thus making me awesome and them whores
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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