Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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