you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
