I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
