Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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