bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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