just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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