Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
