what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
