problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
too bad you live with your parents still
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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