I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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