In the future we'll all be gay
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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