new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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