Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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