The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
