Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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