My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
