I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
