dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
