Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
false alarm. still invincible.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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