they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
