For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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