weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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