did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
