Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
