Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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