when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Your penis caused this!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
