There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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