if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My underwear smells like fireworks.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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