Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
