on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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