dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
