Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Say something about gay babies.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
