And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
