What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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