just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
