A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize
