How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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