apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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