She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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