Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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