So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
