It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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