Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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