Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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