she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Mom said you looked used
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
