So drunk its hurt
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
