Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
