Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
