She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
