pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
