You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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