found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
