i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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