That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
