If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
