You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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